11th
Modern Day Jonah: Free Will Versus God
Exhausted. Pooped. Wiped out. Worn out.
That’s how tired and weary my soul is feeling after wrestling with God for the past few days. I want to throw in the towel and call it quits and yield to him, but my free will is demonstrating to be far more persistent and stubborn than I am. Screaming out loud in exasperated frustration while listening to “Scream” by Thousand Foot Krutch on repeat has helped a bit, but the feeling just keeps returning and I find myself back in the ring. Why am I even bothering to try when I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that my Maker and Master will have his way? Am I trying to change his mind or trying to win when I know with absolute certainty that neither will happen? Why won’t my free will just concede and submit, bow down humbly before the throne of God, and let him have his way with me?
I don’t know how long this particular pruning process is going to take but it’s been hurting like - please excuse and forgive me for the inappropriate and obscene language - hell. So much for trying to avoid, ignore, and run away from his calling for the past decade.
